Grateful.

Supermoon over Athens

I am in awe of the moon and space. Space represents something so much bigger than me. I wonder at the moon every night and think about what's beyond the moon. It's soothing to see the moon when I'm seeking answers about where Naya could be.

The supermoon won't be back for many years. I know that Naya would have stayed up with me to see it, because she always sought to discover and enjoy life. In some respects, her life was pure. No motives to analyze and no contests to win. She didn’t care about who liked her, and she knew who she could trust, who really loved her. 

I think about everything Naya went through everyday. The agony, pain, fear, life of a sick child and everything that she endured. Reliving what she went through hurts me more than losing her at times. If you’re a parent, you know the gravity of that statement. Yet, I believe she didn't experience days in the same way. She lived and she was happy. 

I remind myself as I get worried about the next thing - the "not done" list, the bullies, the hard meeting - that such things can't take away happiness. My daughter endured agony to have the chance to live, and while she was in agony, she was happy. 

This Thanksgiving, I continue to be grateful and incredibly thankful. Thankful for my friends and family. Thankful for the friends who have been with me all along, and the new ones who have entered my life with great love, warmth and generosity. Thankful for good health. Thankful for our good fortune. Thankful for the love of my life, Hank, our wonderful son Zak.

I am so grateful for Naya, her unconditional love, who she was and the lessons she left me, including one that is elusive at times. To simply enjoy the gift of life.